5 Most Important Tips for Babysitting Your Niece or Nephew

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Dana Gutkowski

I am the mother of none, but the very proud Aunt to four beautiful children. I did absolutely no work to create them, but I will do everything in my power to help raise them.

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Babysitting vs. Visiting: They’re not the same!

There are 5 important tips Aunts need when babysitting nieces and nephews.  If you were raised in a large family or your family is just really close, there’s one topic that many of us struggle with: setting boundaries. It can be difficult to recognize the need for distinct lines in any relationship, and sometimes even more difficult to implement them.

Nevertheless, they’re important to us all. Without them, we stress and strain and our relationships inevitably suffer. There are many different scenarios where boundaries are needed as Aunts, but I’m only going to tackle one for now: Babysitting vs. Visiting.

How many of you have thought to yourself, “I’d love to provide support for my family and be their go-to babysitter?” And how many of you ask yourself “How do I be supportive without ignoring my needs?”

We want to be there for our families, but we also don’t want to be taken for granted. So how do we tackle this very issue without feeling like a failure or causing a family feud?

I understand that for some parents babysitting and visiting might seem like one and the same. It’s a break no matter what. But for us Aunts, it’s different. And for those of us who don’t have children, it’s the difference between night and day.

Babysitting:

So what is babysitting? Babysitting is when Mom or Dad have commitments and/or engagements and want or need to be kid free for a period of time. And who should they call upon as their most trusted babysitter?

Well, if they have the option, an Aunt is a great choice for this very task. We’re a trusted resource for parents and it’s also a great way for us to build strong bonds with our nieces and nephews (especially the younger ones).

Win-win, right? Wrong. This is where having that close relationship could come to bite you in the butt. Because we’re close, we often don’t ask questions or set limits on time.

And sometimes we don’t want to be the babysitter (it happens). Yes, there are times when we say yes solely because we feel guilty. And this is where we could get into trouble.

Visiting:

Visiting is completely different. What defines a true visit? It’s our time as Aunts to take the reins and do something special with our niblings.

We make the plans, set the days and times, and have parent-free fun. This what I like to refer to as, “just-us” time, not babysitting. Whether it’s a full day and sleepover or just a few hours together, it’s desired time spent together and not a favor for their parents.

Don’t get me wrong, I personally have a lot of fun babysitting my niblings, but the main motivation is to provide support to their parents. However, “just-us” time is to nurture the relationship we have with our niblings. It has nothing to do with parents.

Tips For Babysitting:

Many Aunts aren’t paid to watch their niblings, but that doesn’t mean we should be treated differently than someone who would be. Here are some babysitting guidelines to form those necessary boundaries with family:

1.) Request that whenever possible that plans be made with you at least one week in advance.

Sometimes things will come up and they’ll need a last minute babysitter. If you’re anything like me, you’ll say yes because you LOVE your nieces and nephews. However, asking for some notice allows you to plan for their stay, both physically and mentally.

2.) Once you’ve established a day, ask about how much time they’ll need you for.

Again, this is preparation for you and it allows you to have a clear understanding of how much attention they’ll need from you. If you’re only needed for an hour or two that’s not that big of a deal. However, if it’s a sleepover, you’ll definitely want to know that information in advance.

3.) Ask about food.

Just about every kid I know has some issue with eating. Some are much pickier than others. It’s imperative to know if you’re responsible for feeding them.

What foods have they crossed off their list this week? “Can the ketchup go on top of their french fries or do I need to put it on the side?” “Only apple slices (not whole apples) cut up to form a daisy with peanut butter in the middle?” Right.

I was never a fussy eater, but my sister and brother needed a handbook to go along with their eating habits. Similarly, my sister’s children have a lot of food rules. I’ve learned the hard way. I usually ask my nieces and nephews questions while I’m preparing their food questions, but it’s also nice to get a heads up.

4.) Plan an activity and have a Plan B option.

You might have a night of crafting, cooking, baking, and bedtime stories planned, but sometimes life gets in the way of what we originally had intended. We’re not always in the right head space for that much activity (especially on a weeknight).

If you’ve got the energy go for it.  But if you’ve had an awful day at work, your 20-minute commute turned into an hour and 45 minutes, and then you finally walk into your house only to find your toilet bowl is overflowing, Plan B will save the day. Have some movies picked out ahead of time, mac and cheese on the shelf, or a few takeout menus set aside for dinner. It’ll be a life-saver.

If you’re looking for a quiet activity, I suggest getting a copy of my FREE coloring eBook. It’s got 26 free coloring pages from A-Z animals! Enter your email address below and receive a copy that you can print over and over! Enjoy!

5.) Don’t be afraid to say no.

This is probably the hardest one to implement when it comes to family, but also one of the most important. You’re allowed to say no to them. In fact, if you don’t, you might wind up resenting them. So start incorporating this word into your vocabulary to set healthy boundaries.

It’s not often that I say no to my sister or cousin when they need help with their kids because of the lifestyle that I maintain now. However, I used to teach preschool kids sports and fitness all day long for years. When my sister would come for a visit, I’d sometimes struggle with watching her kids because I was worn out.

I wanted my sister to be able to have a night out (she lives out of state so she rarely sees her friends). On the other hand, I had just spent the day entertaining between 50 to 100 children and I was exhausted. We worked it out so that I’d only babysit on nights when I had a light schedule or when I wasn’t teaching at all during the day.

Babysitting your niece or nephew is one of the best ways to start forming a healthy and meaningful relationship with your niblings. If given the opportunity to be there for your family in this manner, I highly recommend it.

However, don’t forget that you have needs too.  Setting boundaries and having open communication before you make any plans can make for much better experiences for years to come.

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