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Dana Gutkowski
I am the mother of none, but the very proud Aunt to four beautiful children. I did absolutely no work to create them, but I will do everything in my power to help raise them.
Latest posts by Dana Gutkowski (see all)
- How can I be a good aunt? - May 19, 2021
- Aunt Quotes - March 19, 2021
- End Your Silence. Support Black Lives Matter - June 29, 2020
Hello there fellow Aunts and Aunties. Welcome back to Auntieviews. In this volume, I’ll be featuring Elizabeth Cassidy, the founder of Little Love Letters Peaceful Revolution and the self-proclaimed New York Bagel Aunt.
I have known Elizabeth for roughly 20 years. We first met back in the late 90’s when I was a bratty teenager. She was best friends with my dear Uncle David. For a short period of time, he was living with me and my family after relocating from Arizona. One day, Elizabeth came over for a visit. Now, it’s been said to me as an adult that I’m not exactly the warmest person upon first meeting me. I was no different as a teenager. I’m much like a dog. I have to size you up and take a sniff or two before I decided we can be friends. After that, I’m quite loving and loyal. But since my Uncle loved Elizabeth and she wisely wore deodorant that day, I decided it was okay to let her into the house.
Elizabeth struck me as a free-spirited and forward-thinking woman. She was quick-witted, approachable, and honest. It was no wonder she was friends with my Uncle. And though I didn’t know it that day, I soon came to realize that meeting her would turn out to be a very important part of my upbringing. Shortly after meeting Elizabeth, my Uncle David passed away from AIDS. I was only 14 when I was hit by this devastating tragedy. An emotional floodgate washed over me. I didn’t even know my Uncle was sick. Within hours of first being told the truth about his condition, he was gone. I was broken. I felt robbed of a relationship that I was just beginning to form. I couldn’t make heads or tails of his death and I needed every bit of support I could get. It was Elizabeth who stepped up to be there for me as an Auntie by choice. She was there for me to help put the pieces of my shattered heart back together again. She reached out to me consistently, consoled me, and told me stories about him that I’d never heard before. Through her, I felt like I still had part of my Uncle with me.
Even though I haven’t had my Uncle with me for quite some time, and the pain of his death still brings me to tears, there’s a silver lining. I had a strong Auntie for emotional support who to this day still manages to keep his memory alive. Thank you, Elizabeth.
It’s because of this unique relationship that I share with her that I felt she was a great candidate for Auntieviews. Without further ado, let’s get started getting to know Elizabeth a little better and hear her views on Aunthood.
Background:
Elizabeth’s home is located in New York on Long Island, but her heart lives in Manhattan. She worked in NYC for many years. She’s pursued many different careers in advertising, standup comedy, and was also a national blogger. Even with that impressive resume under her belt, she couldn’t help to feel like there was more out there for her. It was seven years ago she heard fate knocking on the door. Upon answering it, she was happily reunited with her artwork.
She was blogging for skirt!, a woman’s site that allowed her to write about anything and everything. At the time, she was a certified life coach and wrote about coaching until she heard about this man named Barack Obama. It was then that she changed her writing about life coaching to social issues here in this country. She believed that we were going in a different direction. A direction of hope and inclusion. She never thought things would get this tough and divided in 2016. So now she gets my thoughts out on Social media- Facebook and a certain person who shall remain nameless on Twitter.
After the Orlando Night Club massacre in June 2016, she founded Little Love Letters: A Peaceful Revolution. It was then she knew she had to start a peaceful revolution in this stressful times of chaos and dismay. The business card size cards feature her art and messages of hope or empathy. Her little cards have had a positive impact on many people worldwide (70,000 and counting).
Elizabeth has also formed another greeting card business, The Odd Sisters. She describes herself as an unconventional painter, “I was amazed when these whimsical and soulful faces showed up. I feel each one represents a time in a woman’s life – from childhood memories to #Me Too.” You can see some of her artwork on her Peaceful Revolution Instagram profile.
The Interview:
Are you an Aunt by relation, choice, or both? How many do you have?
I have 13 nieces and nephews and each one of them is a unique and outstanding human being. I have to thank my parents for all they instilled in us growing up because my sisters and brothers raised people who are socially aware and know that they can and should strive to make the world a little better place for all.
How long of you been an Aunt? How old were you when you first became one?
I have been an aunt for over 35 years. I was 10 when I became an aunt for the first time. Okay, I lie. I was in my 20s when the first baby arrived on the scene. I can still remember how the air felt on my skin that day. It was one of those days that you can play back in your head over and over and still feel excited about how our world had changed by this new little human.
What do your nieces or nephews call you?
Right now I am still “Aunt” but I do look forward to just being Elizabeth to them one day. I also have friendly relationships with some of my friends’ kids and what I like is that some of them feel they can confide in me. I like being the aunt or aunty who will keep their secrets.
How old are your nieces/nephews now?
They go from the ages 11 to 39.
Are you also a mother or childless Aunt? If you were childless is that by choice or by chance?
I am childless by choice, but there was a time when I did consider becoming a mother with my best friend. I thought who better than to have a child with someone that I trusted and loved unconditionally. But the gods were not on our side, so maybe in our next life.
Do you live close to your nieces and nephews or are you a long-distance Aunt?
Most still live nearby although two are residing in Manhattan, one in DC, one in FL and one in CA. So I can plan vacations around where they live. Just don’t tell them. I love seeing them going and having their own lives, but do miss them.
As an Aunt what’s the biggest value you feel you bring to the family?
Because I like to reinvent myself and my life when needed, I show them that you don’t have to stay still. You don’t have to have the life everyone expects you to have. You can go out and have the life that feels right to you. It takes work and a strong back, but the rewards outweigh living someone else’s dreams.
What is one good piece of advice that you would give it to any new Aunt?
Love your nieces and nephews unconditionally. There will be enough people out there in the world who will judge, admonish, ridicule and hurt them. Don’t ever betray their trust and always create a safe place for them.
What is one of the biggest difficulties you’ve experienced as an Aunt? How did you overcome it if at all?
I am proudly the black sheep, the weird kid in the family. Sometimes I did not feel like I was perceived as a shining example of an adult in my family even though I went to college, moved to CA., got great jobs, made lots of money and lived in Manhattan and supported myself. I overcame this by deciding that the only opinion that matters is mine along with a select few. I can’t let other judge and define me. I am at peace with who I am and look forward to getting into more trouble! That ought to make some people cringe.
What’s your proudest moment as an Aunt?
Seeing them embrace who they are and going out and living their lives. the world can be a cruel place, so I love to see that move beyond society’s shortcomings and live their truths. And I will always have their backs.
If you go back in time and give your younger and self a piece of advice but would it be? And why?
I would tell myself to keep doing what you are doing because it will take you to where you are right now. I would not want to miss one experience (okay, maybe a few) or not meet the people who embraced you and made you feel loved. Even the ones you will lose made your life’s journey all the more richer.
If you had to compare your relationship as an Aunt to one food what would it be and why?
I am a New York bagel – my exterior can be tough if you leave me out all night, but inside I tend to be soft. Just don’t overload me with too much cream cheese. I can handle your truth just the way it is.
Would you like to share your story of Aunthood?
Use the contact form below and I’ll email you back to get your Auntieview started!
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Love you, Auntie E.
It seems you’ve helped several people, including me, thru their darkest hours.
Xxxxx GREAT interview!!!! Loved it!)))) Especially the “Bagel” part!