Dana Gutkowski
Latest posts by Dana Gutkowski (see all)
- How can I be a good aunt? - May 19, 2021
- Aunt Quotes - March 19, 2021
- End Your Silence. Support Black Lives Matter - June 29, 2020
If you’re reading this because you’re going to become an Aunt sometime soon – CONGRATULATIONS! Aunthood is a wonderful right of passage. You’re about to embark on a beautiful journey filled with laughs, smiles, and pure joy!
But before you can get to that place, Mommy has to have the baby. Like many women, she might be scheduled for a cesarean (c-section). For various reasons, c-sections are becoming more popular. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, it’s estimated that nearly one-third of the babies delivered in the United States are done so through c-section. There isn’t much reason to necessarily fear a c-section, but it is still a serious procedure – it’s surgery! And though you can’t help beforehand, you can do a lot for her post-c-section recovery!
What is a c-section?
Simply put, a cesarean or c-section is a surgical procedure to deliver a baby. A small incision is made into the mother’s abdomen and her uterus to remove the baby from her womb. It’s an alternative to vaginal birth, usually conducted with a medical reason behind it.
Why are c-sections performed?
Typically there are medical reasons why mothers have cesarean births. If it is deemed that a vaginal birth would be too difficult or put the mother or baby’s health might be at risk, a c-section is done for their best interest. Though they can be scheduled earlier on in the pregnancy, often they come about due to complications during labor. For example, my sister had to have an emergency c-section when delivering Layla because the umbilical cord was wrapped around my niece’s neck and her heart rate was dropping. Scary, but at the same time, thank God for c-sections!
Some other reasons that a c-section might be performed are the following:
- Previous c-sections were performed (so my 2 nephews were also delivered via c-section as well)
- Baby’s head is too big for a vaginal birth
- Baby is breech (coming out feet first)
- Baby is transverse (coming out should first)
- The mom’s blood pressure is too high
And so on.
After the c-section
For those moms who deliver their children via c-section, they can expect to spend approximately three days in the hospital. It necessary for them to stay for additional medical observation. So though it’s no fun to sleep in a hospital and continue to get poked, prodded and disturbed, their best interests are truly at heart.
What to expect?
Mommy is going to be in pain and probably irritable. Don’t take it personally, it’s hard to smile and laugh when you’re in agony. I’ve never had a c-section but I’ve witnessed plenty of Moms (including my sister who had 3!) recover from them and that’s pretty much been the consensus. Though there’s nothing you can do for their pain – their body has to do the healing, there’s plenty you can do to help out with the recovery.
How You Can Help (especially us Aunts)
After mom has spent a few days in the hospital, it’ll be time. for her to come home and that’s where the help really begins. She will be limited by what she’ll be allowed to do while she’s recovering. Though it’s a very joyous and exciting time, it’ll also be strenuous as she heals.
Moms are exhausted by the time they get through 9 months of pregnancy and days inside the hospital with a new baby. It’s a huge adjustment in a very short period of time. She’ll be focused on tending to her baby’s needs so here are some things that you can do to help Mom with her c-section recovery.
Decorate her front door
Though this isn’t to help her physical recovery, it’s an effort to support her mental health to lift her spirits. Making. or buying a sign that reads “It’s a boy!” or “It’s a girl!” or perhaps “The twins have arrived!” along with some other festive decorations are a nice touch welcoming her home and the newly formed family home. Sometimes it’s the little things that mean the most and leave the longest-lasting impression.
Food
Depending on your schedule culinary skills, helping out with food is a huge plus. Do you have a free night to head on over to her and make dinner for the family? Please do. Mom and Dad will appreciate not having dinner taken care of for at least one night as they adjust to their new lives.
My sister requested spaghetti and meatballs as her homecoming meal for all three children so that’s exactly what she got! I guess that’s what her body was craving after all the hospital food.
If you’re limited on time but still want to help out, cooking ahead of time and freezing the meals into portions would be equally as great for them too. Casseroles, lasagna, soups, stews – whatever your specialty is – they’ll appreciate the effort and the nourishment.
Have trouble with making even a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? I get that too. Order food or send a nice gift basket with fresh fruits and yummy snacks. Every little helps with you’re going through a transition.
Lifting
Moms are instructed not to lift anything heavier than their baby while first recovering, but there are plenty of things that weigh more than the baby! For instance, her baby in the carrier! We take every day mundane things for granted when we’re able-bodied and healthy. So if she needs something lift, especially off the floor – please help her!
Bending
Since her c-section incision is made in her abdomen, bending over after recovery is painful. Little things like putting on undies or pants – were never a problem before, but now after the baby is here – it’s the equivalent of climbing Mount Everest. If she’s having trouble bending even to lift her baby – offer to pick up baby to deliver him or her to mom’s arms.
Driving
You don’t even realize how often you need your abdominal muscles to function until they’re sore and you can feel every move. Because of the position you’re seated in to drive and the medication she may take for the pain, driving is usually ill-advised. If she needs litter errands run or a ride to the doctor – take her.
Laundry
With a new baby in the house, the laundry will definitely increase. Throwing in a load and folding it for her while visiting is a lovely and helpful gesture!
Cleaning
Everything needs to be super clean around a newborn. Anything that needs to be cleaned or straightened up while she’s recovering will help tremendously. No one is suggesting that you become her maid, but the extra set of hands around the house will be welcomed!
Talk and Listen
Never underestimate the power of a good talk. Mom will be feeling all sorts of emotions after giving birth. Listen to her birth story, distract her from her woes by sharing some good news, and just be a good listener while you’re around. A lot of things will be baby focused – but how is Mom doing? Ask and find out.
Babysit
A trusted babysitter is golden to parents. Knowing that someone who loves and cares for their children is watching after them will give tremendous peace of mind. If this is her first baby, offer to watch the baby so she can nap or run an errand if she’s up to driving. Give her a chance to have some “me” time baby free.
If she has more than one child, offering to babysit or take her older children out for a day is so she and the new baby can get some rest will be welcomed!
