Dana Gutkowski
Latest posts by Dana Gutkowski (see all)
- How can I be a good aunt? - May 19, 2021
- Aunt Quotes - March 19, 2021
- End Your Silence. Support Black Lives Matter - June 29, 2020
Isolating yourself without feeling isolated
During this current time in our nation, we’re being advised to maintain social distancing in an effort to confine and diminish the risk of spreading the coronavirus. On the other hand, we also have to continue to live our daily lives despite this pandemic. So how does one combine the two? How can you be a good Aunt while also isolating yourself during the coronavirus pandemic?
Many Americans are allowed to work remotely from home which solves one problem, but our lives outside of work? What about our social lives? Our families? What about spending time with our nieces and nephews regularly, as so many of us do?
Realize that the isolation period won’t last forever. Many of us (myself included) can isolate without even realizing we’re doing it. However, being morally responsible and consciously isolating feels different. It feels like we are being imprisoned in our homes which is awful. But to alleviate some of the stress and possible emotional pain from not being able to spend time with your family, here are some things that you can do to be a good Aunt during the coronavirus pandemic.
Change your mindset:
You’re still their loving Aunt, but for now, you’re a Long-Distance one
If you’re a long-distance Aunt then this social distancing is like any other day, but if you’re a nearby Auntie, well now you know how it feels to be a long-distance aunt. However, for you, it’s truly temporary.
Every day a new baby is born and a new Aunt is crowned. I can’t speak for the rest of the country, but by me, on Long Island, they’re not allowing family members to visit new moms and babies in the hospitals right now because of the virus. This is heartbreaking news, to say the least, but take a deep breath, hold it, and exhale for 5 through your mouth for 5 seconds. Whether you’re struggling with the notion of not seeing your niece or nephew, or just having general anxiety difficulties, this will help ease your worries.
Next, talk yourself down off the ledge if this is causing you some anxiety. You’re not restricted from seeing your nieces and nephews forever, you’re just being advised to keep your distance for a few weeks. Though so many ignore this advisement and go for a visit anyway, in my opinion, it’s better to be safe than sorry. There are other things you can do in the interim.
Here are some fun ways on how to be a good Aunt during the coronavirus pandemic.
Get Creative with FaceTime
Now that you’ve established that you’re a temporary long-distance Aunt, you’re gonna have to get used to FaceTime. Thankfully we have smartphones at our fingers tips which enable us to make video calls pretty much anytime we want – so use it and use it frequently!
Even though we are being told to keep our distance from one another, especially in large groups, it doesn’t mean that our needs have changed. In fact, during these uncertain times, light breaks in your day to day routine are beneficial for keeping up your spirits. It’s imperative that we laugh, limit the amount of news we’re watching, and keep in contact with the ones we love.
FaceTime for Dinner
I was a long-distance Aunt for 9 years before my family moved back to New York. And during my tenor, I had a lot of FaceTime dinners.
Everyone eats dinner, right? Just because you can’t make it to their dinner table, doesn’t mean you can’t share a meal.
It depends on how you feel about scheduling meals and the age of your nieces and nephews, but for my family, we make it pretty simple. Sometimes my sister and I asked each other if we were free to FaceTime for dinner on a certain night, and other times we just pop in on each other’s dinners. During this time when we’re supposed to be socially distancing ourselves, it would probably work best to schedule a dinner or two – but it’s up to you to make the best choice for yourself.
I love FaceTime dinners for two reasons:
1.) Layla, Jayden, and Julian all get to see my face in real-time. I’m not a picture on the wall or an obscure voice trying to hold their attention. We can make eye contact, watch each other laugh and share a meal no matter how far apart we are.
2.) They have to sit for dinner. It’s not always easy to keep the attention of kids. But, at dinner time, I have a better chance of succeeding. My floating head now becomes a focal point so I don’t get abandoned on a couch cushion in some obscure room in the house. We’re seated together and attentive.
FaceTime Dance Party
We’re all staying away from public gyms, right? But that doesn’t mean you should cut back on getting some exercise in with your niece and nephew.
Do you love to dance and have a good time no matter what you look like? Then start a dance party with the kids. As long as you’re moving on the other end, they’ll think it’s fun.
If you have a remote for a portable speaker, I’d encourage you to play a game of freeze dance. Hook up your phone or computer to an external speaker so the music is loud enough for them to hear. There are no rules – or you make up your own rules. Just have fun and shake off those coronavirus fears!
FaceTime I spy
One of my favorite games to play on a walk or driving in the car with my nieces and nephews is I Spy. You’re reinforcing colors and bringing attention to their surroundings. It’s a great game for kids!
So why not sit down and play it via FaceTime? Walk to other rooms every so often so you both get a change of scenery and different things to spy.
FaceTime Peek A Boo
For really small children, it’s always a must to make them laugh. It’s important for you to be laughing too during these uncertain times. Popping your face on and off-screen, covering yourself with blankets, towels, pillows, etc and playing peek-a-boo is a must-try. See where it takes you – perhaps to a game of virtual hide and seek?
FaceTime Playing Cards
Yes, you read that right. Nothing has to be perfect in order to have fun. I recently sat down with my niece and we played an adapted version of Go Fish via FaceTime. We both had a deck of cards which we dealt ourselves. If either of us had the card we were asking for, we took it out of our hand and put it in a separate pile.
It was fun and funny because we were totally making it up as we went along. Try any game – even Indian Poker – the card game where you put a card on your forehead and bet against each other.
See more card games to play with kids.
Snapchat
With my sister’s permission, the kids were allowed to download the Snapchat app. We use it to make phone calls and send bitmojis back and forth. I love Snapchat because it holds their attention with the funny filters and it’s a way for us to play long distance. It’s almost like we’re playing dress-up, but the wardrobe changes are much faster.
The distraction and much-needed laughter will be great for everyone!
Read them a story
I let my nieces and nephews leave things in my home so that when they come to visit they have toys to play with. It’s good to have a few children’s books on the shelf for bedtime stories too.
Even though you can’t go to the library, many have online platforms to rent books on your phone or tablet. Take one out or buy one for future use!
Help With Homework
Most schools have closed and have moved to online learning – or are headed there. Depending on their age, homework can get a little complicated, especially with the common core math that everyone seems to have a bit of trouble with. I know this is weird to say, but it’s also the truth: I enjoyed homework when I was a kid.
I encourage my niece and nephews to call me when they need help and Mommy or Nonna are busy with other things. Sometimes I need to see what they see in order to help though. That’s when FaceTime really helps. If you’re a homework dork like me, I’d suggest being their homework buddy.
