Find Out The 5 Best Ways to Bond with Your Niece or Nephew

How would you develop bonding with a child? Are you a first-time Aunt? Or are you struggling to bond with your niece or nephew? Every Aunt must find their own groove in Aunthood, but here’s a jump start to forming that close bond with your niblings quickly! 

When you’re not the parent of the child you love, it’s work to form a bond with them. If you’ve become an Aunt, but don’t have children of your own, it usually goes one of two ways: It’s second nature and a breeze. Or, it’s a bit confusing, and you need a little help. Most will experience both circumstances during Aunthood.

But, no matter which side of the coin you land on, in order to bond with the children in your life, you must maintain an active role in their lives. The younger you start, the stronger the bond.

I’ve been an Aunt for 12 years now and so far I have to say it’s been my most rewarding job yet. A new version of me was born the minute I was crowned the title of Aunt.

Over the course of many years, I’ve spent a lot of time with children, some are my family and others were not. But no matter if you’re looking to form a bond with kids as their Aunt, Uncle, babysitters, or friend, there are some absolute truths for how to form a bond. Here are the 5 best ways to bond with your niece or nephew.

1.) Change your mindset from adult to child.

Think back to when you were a child. The sky was the limit. Rules of reality didn’t apply. Your imagination was your best friend, and adults were downers if they didn’t join in on the fun.

It’s time to head back to that headspace and become a child again. It’s important to be open, but not reckless. You must be daring, but not foolish. You’re only ACTING like a child, not becoming one again. Therefore, we must always put safety first, but the fun is a very close second.

Fun tip: If you’re having trouble remembering what it was like to be a child, sit back and observe them. Toddlers have the shortest attention spans and often require A LOT of energy. You might just find that you can completely give up your gym membership and just hang out with 2-year-olds for a good cardio workout.

2.) Make them laugh.

Laughter is one of the most important and powerful tools we can use to bond with one another. Sharing laughs with your nieces and nephews is a great way to formulate a close relationship.

Think about your closest friends. The ones that laugh together stay together. Everyone’s sense of humor varies slightly, so try a few things and see what makes them chuckle.

Most babies and toddlers respond well to exaggerated and animated behavior. Young children LOVE sound effects, especially during play. The older they get, the more verbal your humor can become. A one-year-old wouldn’t care about a knock-knock joke unless you laughed at it first, and then maybe they’d start to giggle too. If you’re playing the observer as well as the entertainer, finding your sweet spot shouldn’t be too difficult.

Fun tip: If you haven’t had the opportunity to bond with them from when they were really little, ask them to show you some of their favorite YouTube channels or their favorite cartoons. You’ll get some insight as to what they find entertaining.

3.) Put on your play clothes and act their age and gender.

Get messy! And I mean messy! Remember when you were a kid and your Mom wouldn’t let you go outside with school clothes? You had to get your play clothes on, and THEN you’d be set free? Well, I’d suggest doing the same.

When we don’t worry as much we’re capable of having more fun. Create a play space that’s free of breakables and anything stainable and have a ball! Take out the paint, the play-doh, the markers, or the legos, and tap into your inner child that lives inside you.

Also, play to their likes. When they’re very little, what they’re playing with doesn’t matter too much as long as it’s age-appropriate. But when they start to become toddlers, and their personalities really start showing, I’ve learned that my nephews are definitely different than my nieces.

Generally speaking, the boys love their cars, want to shoot and be shot you with a nerf darts, and get excited about sports and action heroes. So when I’m with my nephews, that’s what we take out and play with. However, with my nieces, they tend to want to play with dolls, crafting materials, or play dress-up.

Play with whatever they want to play with. When you take an interest in their interests, they start taking an interest in you too.

Fun tip: If you don’t have toys and they’re coming to visit you, buy a few bottles of bubbles and cans of play-doh. They’re gender neutral and always a favorite for young children.

4.) Capture their imaginations.

Children’s minds are limitless, open, and creative. Think about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny – completely believable and fascinating to a child.

They also learn the best through play and when their imaginations are activated. If you think about any children’s book or shows, life lessons, morals, and good behavior models are always presented through a story. Visual stimulation is what holds their attention, so you’ll have to become an active participant in playtime.

I’ve noticed that a lot of kids need help to start imagination play, so adults might need to play director and/or storyteller in the beginning.

Fun tip: Mix and match toys. Here’s a prompt for you. If there’s a baby doll, superheroes, and Legos, around at the same time, build a fortress around the doll with Legos. The superheroes much rescue the baby in time for her 2 o’clock nap or she won’t be able to go to the park with Elsa and Anna later. It’s 1:55 P.M. we only have five minutes! We have to hurry!…I’ll leave the rest up to you 🙂

5.) Make time for just the two of you.

I saved the best and most important one for last. You can’t really form a bond unless the child can recognize your face. However, the absolute best way to bond with anyone is to spend time alone – just the two of you.

Our dynamics change when we’re inside groups of people. It’s no different for children, especially if they can smell their parents within a 50-yard radius. Divide and conquer is my motto!

By spending time along with them, you’ll get to know their little habits, their quirks, and their sense of humor. Your two hearts will soon melt and reform together as one.

Fun tip: It’s optimal to be able to do with some consistency, or to form a tradition of your own – that’s just for the two of you. If you can be in the babysitter rotation, that’s a perfect start. If not, I would suggest doing something outside of Birthdays or holidays so that the focus is just on your time together and not the hype of presents.

I hope that you’ve found this to be helpful and that you’re calling the parents of your niblings to schedule your one-on-one time! Active Aunthood can be tough at times, but just like anything else worth having, it’s well worth the effort.

Which one of these do you think you’re the best at?  Let me know if the comments below!

If you enjoyed this, you might also my article:

Fun Games and Activities To Play While Babysitting

The Struggles Of Aunthood and Tips to Overcome Them

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