Dana Gutkowski
Latest posts by Dana Gutkowski (see all)
- How can I be a good aunt? - May 19, 2021
- Aunt Quotes - March 19, 2021
- End Your Silence. Support Black Lives Matter - June 29, 2020
There’s practically no getting around social media these days. Even if you aren’t a participant (congrats to you!), the masses are not with you in this case. So the chances of there being a picture of you somewhere on social media are far greater than not. Yes, even if you don’t own the account.
Look around you the next time you go out. Take notice of how many times you see someone scrolling their Instagram feed, posting on Facebook, or playing with Snapchat filters. You’ll see it no matter if you’re out to dinner, sitting in a coffee shop, riding the train, and yes, sometimes even driving! It’s everywhere! There’s no escaping it.
However, as adults, we have the choice as to whether or not we want to be present on social media and how often we post. If someone takes a picture of you, embarrassing or not, you have the right to say, “Don’t post that on social media!” Kids, on the other hand, don’t get this luxury. Many start forming their digital footprints moments after their birth. But is it right for us to make that choice for them?
To Post? Or Not To Post?
Personally, I don’t mind that my feed is filled with pictures of Moms and kids. I’m more annoyed by pictures of people’s food I’ll never eat than I am of a baby I’ll never meet.
As a blogger, I’ve been given permission from the parents of my nieces and nephews to post pictures of them on my social media accounts. However, I’m mindful of what I post.
Some of my accounts are public and the world doesn’t need to see EVERYTHING that goes on behind the scenes. There is still such a thing as a personal life which includes privacy. But still, you set the bar on what remains truly private.
So what thoughts should run through your mind when posting on social media when kids are involved? It’s not as black and white as you may think.
What should you take into consideration?
It’s no longer private
For starters, think about the fact that not everything lives inside that particular moment. As soon as it’s on social media it lasts forever, either digitally or in memory. You can’t take it back. Once it’s seen, it remains there. So don’t just post because you feel like it’s your right. There are other people involved, i.e. kids. You’re making decisions for them.
Think Twice About Their Future
We can’t predict what the future holds for us, but we can look at the past and learn from it. Let’s make up an example. Raise your hand if you’d want your Mom, Dad, Aunt, Uncle, or any other family member to break out the photo albums of you nursing right before you’re set to go out on your first date?
My guess is no one is going to volunteer for that, but if it’s on social media….well….there’s a possibility it’s already been seen. And yes, it’s just as embarrassing.
Or in more adult terms, how many instances have there been tagged in a photo and were unhappy about it? So you went right to the post and untagged yourself, right? Or went a step further and asked that the person delete the photo with you in it altogether? Kids don’t get have that option, nor are they aware that the option exists. You’re making the decisions for them, so don’t post every little detail about their lives.
You’re proud of the child that you’re posting about, that’s great. All I’m saying is think of the ripple effects and future of that child before you share.
Your privacy settings aren’t really that private
Nothing is truly private on social media. If you want it to be private, never share it on a public platform.
That being said, say you’ve dug deep into the privacy settings on all of your social media accounts. You know who can see your content and who can share it, right? And you share what you want and with whom you want, right?
Well, what about what other people want to share about you without your consent? Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, WhatsApp, etc. don’t prevent its users from taking screenshots. Yes, some applications inform the user that a screenshot has been taken, but guess what? Now the picture is theirs!
I’m not an alarmist, nor am I reacting to personal experience. However, I have heard horror stories and I’m sure you have too. The point is, even if you think you’re doing it in a “private setting”, there are ways of getting around that. In general, people need to be more mindful of what they share with others. There is such a thing as oversharing.
Information can be spread to those who you’d rather not see it. Things leak, accounts get hacked, and your “private” information is now out of your hands. The internet is a forever space, so just remember that and think about the kids before your post goes live.
Parental Permission
When I first started blogging, I knew I’d want to post pictures of my nieces and nephews. Not only did I want to share with the world how proud I am as an Aunt, but also to give proof, that I truly am an Aunt. I know that might sound odd, but the proof is always in the pudding.
My first step was to secure a domain name, but my second was to get the permission of their parents to use their names and photos from time to time. If they didn’t give me permission, I would have found a way around it, but I had to ask.
You should too. Even if you’re not going to blog about them, their parents should still be giving you consent to post pictures of their children online. Some parents are adamant about not sharing photos of their kids online, and it’s their right so you have to respect it.
To post or not to post is up to the parents to decide. If they say that they don’t want their children to be present on social media, then respect that even if you wholeheartedly disagree with them. Or, if they’re hypocrites and they post about them, but tell you that you’re not allowed to…well, you have to listen to that too.
However, if given permission to post about your nieces and nephews, please keep in mind, the content. Not for your sake, but for the sake of the child.
The purpose is not to shame anyone. I simply want to put a spotlight on social media and the content, especially when it relates to kids. I’m not suggesting that you stop taking pictures, or sharing special moments. They’re memories to look back on so we can smile, laugh, and reminisce. Yes, even capturing embarring ones are all part of growing up. Take out your phones and snap away.
Social media is great. Thanks to Facebook, much of my long-distance family can see pictures of my nieces and nephews and vice versa. It’s a way to connect. But that being said, the world can be a cruel place no matter what we say or do. And as a society, we shouldn’t be careless with the little control we do have in the matter. Think before you post, that’s all I’m saying.
Do you post pictures of your nieces and nephews online? Let me know in the comments below!
