Dana Gutkowski
Latest posts by Dana Gutkowski (see all)
- How can I be a good aunt? - May 19, 2021
- Aunt Quotes - March 19, 2021
- End Your Silence. Support Black Lives Matter - June 29, 2020
Are you looking for someone to babysit your child? Do you often rely on family members such as Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, and cousins for childcare?
It is not my place to tell you whether or not to use family members for your babysitting needs. There are pros and cons to using them, and every family situation is unique.
So what should you consider? Lets start with the positive.
Pros:
The cost
Generally speaking, the cost of having family members babysit your children is free. That’s a very attractive price tag for just about anyone. If you hired someone to watch your child, you’re taking on the expense of anywhere from $10-$18 per hour depending on your geographical location.
You get to leave the house, go to work, run an errand, or treat yourself to some kids free time all at the cost of $0. Who could say no to that?
Peace of mind
If you’re not hiring a stranger to come to watch your kids, you’ll be able to leave the house worry-free. There’s no need to panic that they’re not in good care or that you mistakenly judged their character in the interviewing process.
When family comes to babysit, you know what to expect from them. Your child will be in good hands and there’s no need for your anxiety levels to rise (at least not too high anyway).
Convenience
If you get last minute news and you find yourself scrambling to find someone to watch your kids, there’s always family on speed dial to help you out. It’s difficult to call on a paid babysitter to do this, especially if it’s late at night.
Family is almost like built-in babysitting if you live close enough to each other. And if you don’t, you can still make arrangements for when you need them. My mother and father used to travel from New York to Maryland when my sister needed a sitter.
Nearly 100% guaranteed
Family members rarely say no to watching their grandkids, nieces, nephews, cousins, etc. When you have a strong and committed family, they often have your back with support. They’re also more understanding of your circumstances because they have a closer relationship with you. The better you know someone, the more likely they are to help you out.
Bonding opportunity
One of the best ways for family members to form a bond with children is to start out as their babysitter. This way they begin to familiarize themselves with the faces and voices and a trustful relationship begins to be created.
There’s no need to try to get to know them over and over in small snippets of time. When you use family as their babysitter, it becomes routine and they’re no longer a stranger.
With all good, there also comes some bad. Let’s now explore the possible cons of using family as a babysitter.
Cons
Possible resentment
Since it’s free, convenient, and usually pretty easy to ask family members to watch your children, it can also become a little burdensome too.
Depending on how often and when you ask them to babysit can start to take a toll on their personal lives. Even if they’re retired and don’t have to work, they need a life too. It’s a lot of work to watch children, and not everyone can do it for extended periods of time.
Also, they’re working for free most of the time, so the benefits of getting to spend time with the kids don’t necessarily outweigh the drawbacks of burnout.
They may flex or break your rules
You have a certain way of raising your children. You have rules that they must follow when they’re home, right? Do x,y,z or you don’t get a,b,c. Well, if your family is watching them, they might not make them follow those rules. Or, they may follow them, but only sometimes (when they feel like it).
They may not be as engaged as someone paid
When you hire someone to babysit your kids, it comes with the territory that they’ll play with them too. With family, that’s not necessarily the case. Babysitters want their job, so they’re going to try to impress you with how well they engage with children so that you know they’ll be happy and safe while you’re away.
However, with family, you’re most so leaving in them their care so that you know they’re safe. Some family members might play with your kids, but probably not as much as someone that’s being paid to do it.
They’re hard to fire
When you hire someone to babysit your kids, you have expectation from them. You want them to do the job that they’re being paid to do, who you have asked them to do it. And what should happen if they fail to meet your expectations? You find anyone one of course.
However, with family it’s not that black and white. For starters, once you fire someone or never ask them to come back (either way), you usually will never see them again. But with family, it’s the complete opposite. You’ll be worried that you might offend them, start a family feud, or harm the relationship they have with
Your child may misbehave more
Comfort doesn’t always equate to good behavior. When we’re a little uncomfortable with someone, we tend to be on our best behavior. However, when you babysitter is a family member, your children might be more likely to act out quicker.
As a relationship with a babysitter gets more comfortable, children will more than likely have a fight or act out. Don’t be surprised if this happens sooner than you’d like when a family member is babysitting. They may defy them, give them the silent treatment, which will result in a bad report back to their parents.
Are you the family member that’s being asked to babysit? You might want to read Tips for Babysitting Nieces and Nephews.
