Dana Gutkowski
Latest posts by Dana Gutkowski (see all)
- How can I be a good aunt? - May 19, 2021
- Aunt Quotes - March 19, 2021
- End Your Silence. Support Black Lives Matter - June 29, 2020
Most people make annual New Year’s resolutions, right? You’ve heard at least one person say, “Come January 1st, I’m gonna…” fill in the blank. You want to lose weight, eat better, meditate, blah blah blah. Some are successful in their pursuits and others not so much. But that’s neither here nor there.
It’s important to set goals for yourself and be ambitious about making your dreams a reality. The first of the year is just a marker that many choose as their date to start something, but in reality, you can choose to change on any date. As long as you truly commit to it, when you start doesn’t matter.
But I’m not going to write about all the ways you can improve upon your life in its entirety. I’m only here to comment on one area of your life. Aunthood. How can you be a better Aunt?
In sticking with the New Year’s resolution theme, I put together a list of 7 resolutions that every Aunt can do in some way shape or form. You should be able to pick one thing off this list that you can commit to in the next 12 months. So what’s it gonna be for you?
7 New Year’s resolutions for Aunts
1.) Stop procrastinating
We all have the one thing on our to-do list that keeps getting pushed aside and added to the new list we make every day or every year. What’s yours? “Oh, I really want to do x with y, but…”
What’s that one thing that you keep saying you want to do with your niece or nephew but just can’t find the time or have the financial means to commit to? Or maybe it’s an emotional hindrance. This is the year to make it happen.
Most things have a better chance of actually happening if you plan for it. So if it’s a trip you want to take, start saving for it now! It doesn’t have to happen this year, but this is the year you put the wheels in motion to make it happen.
Is it an activity that you just can’t find the time to schedule? That might be because you’re not thinking about it far enough out. Take out your planner, and schedule a time for it now. A common excuse for why we don’t do things is because we don’t have enough time. But in reality, we do have the time because we can make the time.
Those two are simpler and easier to take a bite out of, but if you’re fighting an emotional battle, that might be a bit harder to swallow. What’s getting in your way? Pride? Fear of rejection? Not knowing where to start?
No one knows the outcome of a particular circumstance until they try. The only thing holding you back from taking any step forward is yourself. It’s a new year, so start fresh and try taking an approach you’ve never taken before. When you’re old and gray, looking back on your life, you will most likely be upset about the things you didn’t attempt rather than the things that you tried and failed at. Failure is okay, but avoidance is not.
Pick up the phone, write an email, or send a message on social media. It probably won’t be fixed overnight, but life is too short to keep putting it off. Keep your niece or nephew’s face at the forefront of your mind. You’re doing it for them. That’s your motivation.
Read “How To Form A Bond With Kids When You Don’t Get Along With Their Parents” for further suggestions.
2.) Learn one new thing with your niece or nephew
It’s a common new year’s resolution to try something new, right? So why not include your niece or nephew with you when doing it?
If they’re young, just about anything will new to them, and if they’re older, I’m sure there’s something that they have tried yet. And the fact that you’re doing it with them, will make it completely new for you.
What’s one thing that you haven’t tried that you really want to learn? Painting? Skiing? Storytelling? Pottery? It doesn’t have to be on a major platform, in a classroom, or far away. Take small bites at attacking your bucket list, but do it with your niece or nephew.
Want to start painting? Go to Michael’s, get some paints, and watch some YouTube videos.
Never tried skiing before? Well, if you’re up for a trip, bring them along and start at the bunny slope.
Storytelling? Why not write a story together and share it with your family and friends.
Pottery? They make small plastic pottery wheels for kids. Get one and see what forms from your efforts.
Nothing has to be perfect. Whatever it is that you really want to start doing, do it, even if it’s on a micro-level. The important part of these efforts is that you’re creating memories with your niece and nephew and doing something that you’ve never done before. It’s a win-win situation.
3.) Go on an adventure together
This sounds more intense than it really is. I like to say adventure because my nephew Jayden refers to our trips to Target as adventures. So for him, it is an adventure.
People tend to act completely different when they’re around their parents, no matter their age. I’m a 36 years old adult and when I’m with my parents, I’m not the same 36-year old I am I with my peers.
It’s a good idea for Aunts to spend time with niblings away from their parents. Our dynamics change when we’re inside groups of people. It’s no different for children, especially if they can smell their parents within a 50-yard radius. Divide and conquer is my motto!
Spend quality time with them in different ways. For example, you might want to take them out for ice-cream, get a manicure together, or offer to be their ride when they want to go somewhere. It’ll give you some time to chat so you can see what they’re up to these days. What’s going on in school? How’s it going with their friends? How are things with your boyfriend or girlfriend? Etc.
You’ll get to know their little habits, their quirks, and their sense of humor. Your two hearts will soon melt and reform together as one.
4.) Read together
Reading never gets old. It doesn’t matter how old your niece or nephew is, they need to hear someone speaking to them. Hearing others talk is how they’ll learn to talk and improve their vocabulary. Reading together is a great way for Aunts and kids to bond.
Children’s books don’t take up much space. And you might not always have time to head to the library. Buying a few will not only encourage them to eventually read on their own, but there are also a number of other benefits.
If they’re older, why not try reading the same book and having a weekly discussion? It’ll be like forming your own book club with them. You’ll have something to talk about and an excuse to stay in touch regularly.
5.) Share your talent with them
Everyone has at least one talent. You might not be the best in the world, but there’s something that you’re good at. What is it? Cooking? Art? Baking? Crafting? Singing? Playing an instrument? Or something less creative but equally as important? Organization? Math? Whatever it is, you have something that you can share with them. I know it.
Introduce them to your talent. They don’t necessarily have to be involved right away, but they can be. It depends on what you’re introducing to them.
For a kitchen activity, they can help you dump ingredients into a bowl after you measure.
If it’s an artistic project, most kids will scribble for a bit even if they’re not their favorite thing to do.
As for an instrument? Need a say it? Play them a song. Kids love music.
And if it’s a practical skill, make a game out of it. Start with counting and matching. These are skills that everyone needs to develop.
As they get older, you can bump up the activity by teaching them your skills. When they’re young it’s about exploring new things to introduce the topic. As they develop, implementation is execution start to matter more. Lead by example, that’s a great way to grab their attention.
6.) Plan a dinner date with just them
Much like an adventure, but longer, the dinner date. Set time aside and invite them over for dinner or head out to a kid-friendly restaurant to spend some time together. If they’re older, you won’t have to worry about it being kid-friendly, but you still have to plan a date. No excuses.
This is simpler for the Aunts that live close by, so the long-distance ones might say “Welp, cross this one off the list.” To which I will reply, “Nope!”
Take full advantage of FaceTime. With one click of a button, you can see your family in realtime at any given moment.
It’s great for a quick pop-in to say hello, but one of my favorite things to do with FaceTime is to make a dinner date with my family. It’s no secret that kids have small attention spans. I’m sure you’ve been in a scenario where you’re on a call, and somehow the phone winds up on the floor. Then you’re left staring at the ceiling fan shouting “HELLOOOO??!!!”.
That’s why I like dinnertime. The kids have to (at least for a little while) sit down and have dinner at the table. Ask your sister or brother to make another place setting for your floating head.
It’s a way to share a meal, laugh together, and tell stories about your day. Ask questions about school and playfully offer up a bite of whatever you’re eating. What’s also great is you never have to worry about the dreaded ceiling fan.
Additionally, if you can’t be with each other in person for birthdays, you can FaceTime to sing and blow out the candles.
7.) Try your best
There’s always room for improvement, right? We all have something we’re not so good at or that could use some tweaking, even as family members.
Do you have a short temper? Do you work too much and have less leisure time to play? Or only put in the bare minimum, showing up on holidays and big events?
No matter where it is that you identify as lacking as an Aunt, become aware of it and try harder to improve. Change can only come about if you’re aware of it. And it’s only sustainable if you’re truly committed to the outcome.
