How to fire a babysitter politely

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Dana Gutkowski

I am the mother of none, but the very proud Aunt to four beautiful children. I did absolutely no work to create them, but I will do everything in my power to help raise them.

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Bringing someone into your home to babysit your children can be quite rewarding and freeing in a sense. You have taken them on as an employee to your family to look after your children while your’e away. Now you can tend to your responsibilities in a kid-free environment. Yay!

However, sometimes this relationship doesn’t work out and you are forced into a situation where you have to let them go. Or the children have outgrown their sitter and they are no longer needed. Either way, this can be awkward.

And much like breaking up with a romantic partner, it can be painful as well. So how do you fire a babysitter politely so that their feelings are somewhat spared?

Much like firing someone who works in a corporate setting, firing a babysitter should be done in stages. The loss of a job can be traumatic even if they saw it coming. However, if done tactfully, they probably can prepare themselves ahead of time.

What are the stages of firing a babysitter politely?

Stage 1.) Set Clear Expectations

It’s impossible to do a job completely and diligently if you don’t know what’s expected of you. In order to be fair to your babysitter even when it comes down to firing them, you have let them know what their responsibilities are while babysitting.

This will also be beneficial to you when it comes down to firing your babysitter. If you know what you have asked them to do, you can then observe whether or not your expectations are being met.

It’s helpful to write down your expectations and make a list of things for the babysitter to do while there. As time goes on and your list remains consistent and possibly repetitive from day to day, the list might not be necessary anymore. However, in the beginning, stating what your needs are in black and white is very helpful for both you and your babysitter.

If you know at what age your children will be when they no longer need a sitter, that she be told to them upfront. This way they can keep a mental note as each birthday passes.

Stage 2.) Evaluate their performace and give feedback

If you see issues with your babysitter let them know about it right away. There’s no need to jump to firing at this point. Allow them the opportunity to correct their mistakes or anything that you’re unhappy about.

Stage 3.) Write it down

You want to be clear in your head as to the reason why you want to fire your babysitters. Sometimes we forget the specifics and fall victim to emotions. Making rash decisions based on emotions isn’t always the best way to handle situations, especially professional ones.

Once you’ve had a discussion with your babysitter and bring up any issues you may have with them, write down the date, the issue addressed, and the outcome of the conversation.

Where they responsive? Defensive? Agreeable? Dismissive? Write down how you perceived the situation so that you can go back and refer to it later.

Stage 4.) Make the decision to fire them

By this point, you should have followed all the steps of setting clear expectations, giving feedback as to how those expectations are being met, and writing down the dates and outcomes of those conversations.

If after numerous occurrences when you have provided feedback and written down the outcome, but no changes have been made on their part to correct the error, it’s probably best for you to sever the professional relationship.

You have to be firm and confident about making this decision. Go back to your list and review the things that you weren’t happy with. How important were these things? Are you being nitpicky? Or are these very serious issues that you can’t waiver on? No one is perfect, but some things are dealbreakers, especially if they’re repeated.

Stage 5.) Make a plan for backup care

Once you know that you are going to fire your babysitter, you’ll need to know what you’ll do in the interim. Do you have a backup sitter you can turn to? Family members? Will you have to take some time off work?

Have a plan and ahead of time so that you’re not scrambling once the deed is done. The change will be difficult for you and your family. Knowing what you’ll be doing while in between babysitters is take a little stress off your plate.

Stage 6.) Have the talk

Let you babysitter know that you need to speak with them. This should preferably be done in person, but a second best would be over the phone. If you have a feeling that your babysitter might have a highly emotional reaction, a phone call might be your best option. Never text someone that they’ve just lost their job. Also, don’t let the children be anywhere within an earshot.

After you’ve scheduled a time to speak with them, be firm in your decision, but compassionate at the same time. And though it’s not necessary to give an explanation, it’s courteous to do so.

Briefly explain to them how you’ve come to your decision. Is it performance based? Is it a scheduling conflict? A financial one? You don’t have to go into great detail, but some sort of “why” they are being fired is helpful so they can make sense of the situation.

Let them know that you are very sorry that it didn’t work out. It may seem trite, but showing some compassion towards them is one of the best ways to fire your babysitter politely.

Stage 7.) Clear up loose ends

You must pay your babysitter for any time that they have spent watching your children. Just because they are no longer in service to you doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t be paid for the time they did serve.

At this time they should also return anything that belongs to you and vice versa. They should hand over keys to the house, any belongings they may have in their car like car seats, boosters, etc. Should you have any of their items, return those to them respectfully. Ideally, this would happen in person for a swift transition, but in the mail would be a last resort.

Stage 8.) Let the kids know

Kids can become quite attached to babysitters, so this sudden change can become startling for them. Let your children know that their babysitter won’t be returning, but don’t give them specifics. Children shouldn’t think that the reason for their babysitter not returning has anything to do with them.

They may be angry with you or they might not care. There’s really no way to predict their behavior. Both may want to say goodbye and depending upon your reasons for firing your babysitter, you may or may not want this to happen.

If they have been your babysitter for a long period of time, it might be a good idea to let them have some closure. However, if it hasn’t been very long, that may be a little confusing for your child, especially if they are very young. The best idea is to use your best judgment.

Stage 9.) Offer a letter of recommendation

If your babysitter is leaving on good terms, it’s a gracious offer to write them a letter of recommendation so they can seek other employment.

Firing someone is never an easy task. Just know that you’re making the best decision possible for your family and sometimes those decisions are painful.