Dana Gutkowski
Latest posts by Dana Gutkowski (see all)
- How can I be a good aunt? - May 19, 2021
- Aunt Quotes - March 19, 2021
- End Your Silence. Support Black Lives Matter - June 29, 2020
Hello there fellow Aunts and Aunties. Welcome back to Auntieviews. I recently had the pleasure of virtually meeting Michelle Hammons, a Certified High Performance Coach and founder of Creativity Play Book .
We connected through a Facebook Group for female entrepreneurs. Michelle initially reached out to me to be a guest on her Fire Online Radio Show to speak about my business, North Pole Notes.
While we were chatting during my pre-interview, it came up that I started my business because of my long distance Aunt status. Michelle then told me she’s the proud Aunt to 4 nieces of her own. Since Michelle is an entrepreneur and a strong role model for her nieces, I felt it fitting to ask her to be a part of Auntieviews.
Background
Michelle was born and raised in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She spent her entire childhood there but decided after high school to change it up a bit and discover life outside of Tulsa. She migrated to North Carolina and Texas only to return 10 years later to plant her roots in her hometown and has remained there since. She loves Tulsa because she finds it’s easy to get around. And although it’s void of any ocean views, she’s fortunate enough to be surrounded by beautiful lakes.
To socialize she’ll often get out to the movies or performing arts events. She loves to travel and network with others so she attends various events that allow her to do just that. But if she’s not out exploring the world, she’ll nourish her creative side and indulge in two of her favorite hobbies, photography, and reading.
As for her profession, Michelle spent 15 years running a photography studio, but an inner voice told her she needed to branch out into the world. She comes from a long line of entrepreneurs, so it’s built into her DNA that she’s meant to exercise her individual strengthen and work hard to gain her freedom from corporate America.
Michelle runs an online business as a performance Coach, Creativity Playbook. She offers a 12 week a
What makes Michelle stand out as an Aunt?
Before I began Michelle’s Auntieview, I asked her, “What’s something special or unique about your relationship with your nieces and nephews?” She replied, “As their Aunt, I did not have any children of my own. I have always fostered individual relationships with each of them to help support them while growing up. I have focused on helping them and giving them the support I did not have growing up. Another person that you trust to talk and discuss important life things with. It’s so crazy that even though they are mostly all adults now how time has flown by over the years. I love the memories we made when they were little and the role model I have become to show them the path in life where they can also discover and leverage their uniqueness in the world.” Spoken like a true entrepreneur.
The Interview
Please describe your background as an Aunt. What are the names of your nieces/nephews?
I have several nieces and nephews: Regan, Rex, Health, Riley, Risa, Randi, Ryker, and Kaylee Rose; by marriage. I added a few nephews Jack and Max. Ryker just started 2nd grade and the rest of them have graduate High School or College.
Are you also a Mother or are you a childless Aunt?
In 2015, I became a stepmom to Lauren and Lexi. This was a new role for me because I do not have kids of my own. Prior to that, I was a childless aunt so this role is new to me!
Which did you become first?
An Aunt for many years first.
Do you think that your experiences as an Aunt prepared you for Motherhood?
Maybe in some ways, it supported me being a better step-mom.
How do you compare your role as a Mother to your role as an Aunt?
As a step-mom, it is very similar to being an Aunt. I see myself as a supplement support role for them to lean on when they want a different perspective from their parents.
What do your nieces or nephews call you? Did you choose it or did they choose it for you?
Aunt Chelle, and sometimes Uncle Chelle! I am the only girl in three generations so there are not too many aunts around beside me. It just made sense to them to call me Uncle Chelle – they didn’t make the distinction. 🙂
Many Aunts are often looked at and referred to as second Moms to their niblings. Do you feel like that’s a fair way to describe your relationship with yours?
I have always tried to play the role of showing them how to see things from their perspective, their parents’ perspective and I have provided an outside perspective. I think any/all of my nieces and nephews know they can count on me to be firm, fair and helpful regardless of the situation so in a sense I think they see me as a second mom although I do not mother them, more celebrate their independence and uniqueness with their particular position.
Do you live close to your nieces and nephews or are you a long-distance Aunt?
I am fortunate that all of them live near me except my oldest niece Regan, her brother Riley who is serving in the Army and Risa who just got married this past June. They all live 2-4 hours away from home.
What is something that you do for your long distance niblings to stay connected?
I send them cards and books to remind them I am here and think about them often. I also send random text messages to let them know they are missed.
As an Aunt, what do you consider to be the biggest value you bring to your family?
An additional layer of support.
In general, why do you think Aunts are important within to families?
I think Aunts are special. I lost my mom to cancer when I was 32 and her siblings have helped keep her presence and memories alive through the years.
Even though your niblings needs have evolved from when they were very young until now, is there anything about your relationship with them that has remained constant?
We laugh and have fun together. I always try and share memories unique to them about growing up that they may not recall or remember.
I make it a point to schedule “just us” time with my niblings. Do you do the same? If so, what are some of your favorite activities to do with them?
We tend to like to go to breakfast or dinners together. I try and schedule 1o1 time with them around the holidays, birthdays and special things they have going on.
What is one good piece of advice that you would give it to any new Aunt?
Be a role model, listener and allow them to discover who they are becoming through thoughtful conversations.
What is one of the biggest difficulties you’ve experienced as an Aunt? How did you overcome it if at all?
Having different life views and beliefs than my siblings and their spouses, sometimes they don’t always love how I challenge their kids.
What’s your proudest moment as an Aunt?
I think there are so many but watching each of them grow and develop and come to me for advice when they want solid information and support. They trust and watch how I operate and know that I am going to leave the ultimate choice for them no matter what in a conversation.
If you could go back in time and give your younger Auntie self a piece of advice but would it be? And why?
To not let squabbles with my brothers keep me from spending more time with my nieces and nephews. I moved away for eight years while they were growing up so I missed some of the connection time early on.
I was once told that being a Mom is all cake and being an Aunt is like icing on the cake. How do you feel about that comparison?
I think it’s the icing on the cake. I have always loved doting on my nieces and nephews and treating them special. It’s a choice I make. I don’t think when you are a Mom you have that choice so much so it is easier to have default thinking about day to day life.
If you had to compare your relationship as an Aunt to one food what would it be and why?
A great cup of coffee; there are a variety of blends that come from different sources. Even though we are all family, we are each uniquely different.
I hope you enjoy reading these interviews as much as me!
Are you an Aunt that would like to share your story? Please submit your contact information below and I’ll be in touch soon!
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