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Dana Gutkowski
I am the mother of none, but the very proud Aunt to four beautiful children. I did absolutely no work to create them, but I will do everything in my power to help raise them.
Latest posts by Dana Gutkowski (see all)
- How can I be a good aunt? - May 19, 2021
- Aunt Quotes - March 19, 2021
- End Your Silence. Support Black Lives Matter - June 29, 2020
Hello there fellow Aunts and Aunties. Welcome back to Auntieviews. I recently had the pleasure of virtually meeting Laurie Mathisen through a FaceBook Group for Aunts. I thought Laurie would be a great person to interview for 2 reasons. First, she’s been an Aunt since she was 12 years old! Wow! That must have been a fun childhood. And second, she’s also a Great Aunt now since her nieces and nephews have started families of their own. I thought that dynamic would be fun to hear about so I just had to pick her Auntie brain.
Background
Laurie was born and raised in small town of Eagle River, Wisconsin. She loves it there because she’s surrounded by her entire family and gets to enjoy all four seasons. She’s a self-proclaimed “homebody”, but does enjoy a night out every now and again at a concert or comedy club. If you’re ever in the area, you might also spot her at the local art studio enjoying an instructional paint night. If not, that means she’s probably partaking in one of her hobbies at home. She loves to read, journal, and watch a movie while snacking on her favorite treat, Twinkies.
Before I began the interview, simply asked Laurie, “What’s something special or unique about your relationship with your nieces and nephews?” To which she replied, “With no kiddos of my own, I treasure the relationships I have with my nieces and nephews. My oldest nephew is 31, is married and has 2 kids of his own. They live about 30 minutes from me but I see them often. I love being around the next generation of nieces and nephews. When I spend time with them, my own problems disappear for a while. It’s a nice escape for me and they remind to just be in the moment, not to stress about things, and to laugh…a lot of laughing.” That put a smile on my face. Laughter is some of our best medicine, and who better to share it with than family?
Now let’s get on with Laurie’s Auntieview.
The Interview:
1.) Please describe your background as an Aunt. What are the names of your nieces/nephews? Are you an Aunt by relation, choice, or both? How many do you have? How long of you been an Aunt? How old were you when you first became one?
I first became an aunt when I was only 12 years old. My sister is 10 years older than me and was married at 19. She & her husband lived in CA when my first nephew was born; the rest of the family on both sides were in WI. My sister needed gallbladder surgery about 5 months after Ryan was born so I was able to spend the summer out in CA helping her take care of him. I was the first person in the family to meet Ryan; when I got off the plane and saw just my sister standing there my first question was “where’s Ryan?” (he was with my BIL at baggage claim).
I have 5 nephews, 1 niece, 1 great-niece & great-nephew. They are all by relation.
Ryan is 31, is a guidance counselor at a local high school and married to Sara who is 32, and works at a local technical college. They were high school sweethearts so she has been part of the family for 14 years. They have blessed me with a great-niece, Emma who is 4 and a great-nephew Jack who is 1.
Zachary is 24, lives in LaCrosse, is gay and the sweetest young man I know.
Aaron is 22, lives in our hometown, and works construction. He is tough on the outside, but a heart of gold on the inside.
Nicolas is 25. He recently moved to Nevada to work on the Hoover dam for 3 years. He is the one nephew I could count on if I needed anything done around my house, I miss him, but I’m proud of the responsible adult he has become.
Carter is 23, lives in our hometown, and has started working construction. He is slowly finding his way in the world but would give you the shirt off his back if you asked.
I loved those 5 boys so much; even though at times I wanted to strangle them…boys can be little monsters! Haha!
2.) Are you also a Mother or are you a childless Aunt?
Childless
3.) If you are childless, is that by choice or by chance?
I’m not sure if its choice or chance. I never married and now being 44 I know biologically I won’t have a child. I’ve thought of adoption or even fostering kids, but at the same time, I’ve realized I’m a bit selfish with my free time. I love being an aunt because I can take the kids for the day, yet give them back and have my own life.
4.) If you can think back to when you were first told you were going to be an Aunt, what were some of the emotions that you felt? For example, pure excitement? Anxiety?
I may have only been 12 years old, and my sister was 10 years older than me, but we were close. When she told me she was pregnant, I was ecstatic!!
5.) What do your nieces or nephews call you? Did you choose it or did they choose it for you?
My mom started calling me “Mouse” shortly after I came home from the hospital because I made squeaking noises more so than crying. The nickname stuck with family and close family friends. Around the time I was in middle school, I didn’t want to be called Mouse anymore. Then my oldest nephew was born when I was 12 and I didn’t want to be called “Aunt Laurie”, so I said that Ryan could call me Aunt Mouse. It stuck with the nephews that were born after him. Even now that all of them are grown men, I am still Aunt Mouse. My great-niece Emma calls me Mousie.
6.) Many Aunts are often looked at and referred to as second Moms to their niblings. Do you feel like that’s a fair way to describe your relationship?
To my sister’s 3 boys, I am definitely the second mom. I was a little closer to them while they grew up and involved in their lives a bit more than my brother’s 2 boys. My brother’s wife isn’t always the easiest to get along with and her side of the family was always put first over ours. I’m close to all my nephews, but I have different relationships with all of them.
7.) Do you live close to your nieces and nephews or are you a long-distance Aunt?
2 of my nephews live in the same town as I do; 1 nephew & his family live about 30 miles away; 1 nephew is about hours away, and 1 nephew is living in Nevada but only for 3 years, then he will be moving back to our hometown.
8.) As an Aunt, what do you consider to be the biggest value you bring to your family?
I love the kids unconditionally. There’s really not much that I wouldn’t do for them, within reason, and they know they can count on me.
9.) In general, why do you think Aunts are important within families?
Aunts are an extension of the parental units. We can offer advice, talk honestly with them, and give them the support they need.
10.) Even though your niblings needs have evolved from when they were very young until now, is there anything about your relationship with them that has remained constant?
We still celebrate all the holidays together. I still send or give birthday cards with money in them, even though most of them have better-paying jobs than I do. In this day and age of social media and technology, I’m in touch with most of them on a daily or at least weekly basis.
11.) I make it a point to schedule “just us” time with my niblings. Do you do the same? If so, what are some of your favorite activities to do with them?
When the boys were little, going to the movies or arcade was a thing we did often. When I spend time with my 4-year-old great-niece, we like to do arts and crafts. I also take her and her brother to the park a lot.
12.) What is one good piece of advice that you would give it to any new Aunt?
Don’t step on the parents’ toes, but love that little person with all you have. They’ll return that love in ways you never knew possible.
13.) What is one of the biggest difficulties you’ve experienced as an Aunt? How did you overcome it if at all?
When my one nephew came out as gay it was hard for him to admit, though honestly, I knew from the time he was about 2-3 years old. I never judged him, but he judged himself harshly and tried to hurt himself as he wasn’t sure how some of the family and his friends would react. It was a stressful time but he gained strength from knowing he had everyone’s support.
14.) What’s your proudest moment as an Aunt?
Seeing all of my nephews grow up to be caring, strong, hard-working young men. They are all far from perfect, but I am proud of each of them.
15.) If you could go back in time and give your younger Auntie self a piece of advice but would it be? And why?
Enjoy the times when they are little and want to spend time with you. Savor the snuggles and kisses, because the day will come that you’ll be lucky to get a quick hug or 5 minutes alone with them.
16.) I was once told that being a Mom is all cake and being an Aunt is like icing on the cake. How do you feel about that comparison?
I think that’s true. Mom’s have so much more responsibilities than Aunts do. We can love and support the kids just as fiercely as they do, but at the end of the day, the moms are the ones that have to make the tough choices and decisions. As aunts, we get to be the ones who swoop in and offer mom a break, play with the kids, share laughs and jokes, then leave.
17.) If you had to compare your role as an Aunt to one food what would it be and why?
I would say pizza with lots of toppings. Everyone loves pizza, and there are many different varieties; just like there are many different varieties of aunts and their relationships with their nieces and nephews.
Would you like to share your story of Aunthood?
Use the contact form below and I’ll email you back to get your Auntieview started!
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