Dana Gutkowski
Latest posts by Dana Gutkowski (see all)
- How can I be a good aunt? - May 19, 2021
- Aunt Quotes - March 19, 2021
- End Your Silence. Support Black Lives Matter - June 29, 2020
Like many, I’ve been given my fare share of nicknames in my life. Most are semi natural and relate directly to my first name, such as Dane, Da, Daner. Then there are some not so close like Ralph and Spaz.
Yet, the strangest and most important one was given to me by my niece. I’m her Bitay (pronounced Bitah). Since my brother-in-law is Nigerian many of my family and friends have assumed that Bitay is Urobo (his Nigerian dialect) for Aunt or Auntie, but in fact it translates to nothing, but means everything.
In 2009, my sister gave birth to her first child and I proudly became a long distance Aunt. I live in New York and my sister and her family live in Maryland. Since I was waiting long distance, it felt like the wait time was somehow doubled. I set a timer in my mind the second my sister told me she was pregnant and anxiously awaited the DING to know my niece was done cooking. I was a wreck.
Sure, my sister had to carry her for 9 months, had been regularly poked and prodded by doctors and nurses, encountered a near death experience while choking on an ice cube in between contractions, endured 18 hours of labor only for her daughter to be delivered via emergency c-section, but still, I had to wait. I was in agony.
The day had come, my niece was finally here! The next morning I was on the first flight to Maryland to meet this little person who had me waiting. Once at the hospital, I scooped her up into my arms, and my heart was instantly stolen by this 6 lb 9 oz 1/2 Nigerian, 1/4 Italian, 1/4 Russian baby girl, Layla.
Within the first year after her arrival I spent most of if not all of my vacation time making trips down to Maryland to see Layla. During one of my many visits I was asked to babysit so my sister could go out for a work event.
At this point Layla was around 12 or 13 months old and had started talking, but not in real words. No, not even that familiar goo goo ga ga sound either. Instead, she would throw up her arms and yell in one breath, “Connie! Connie! Bitay! Bitay! Beezshy! Beezshy!” and so on.
No one knew what she was referring to, but she was expressing herself so it was encouraged. Also, she’s spawned from parents who struggle to recount a simple trip to the grocery store without countless hand gestures and dare I say dramatic tones in their voices. So Layla’s newly found “words” weren’t even considered strange to our family.
Side note, I’m sure after my sister reads this, I’ll get a phone call from her yelling “I’M NOT DRAMATIC!”
Anyway, I soon found out, Layla wasn’t ready to be left alone with anyone other than her Mommy. She was aware of her surroundings at this point and once she realized Mommy was no where to be seen, the screams of horror began.
If you’ve been anywhere near a screaming one year old, or blaring car alarm, you’re well aware that you want the noise to cease immediately! Within seconds I was down on the floor with Layla speaking her language. “Connie! Connie! It’s okay! Bitay! Beezshy!”
This continued for a while until the crying subsided and then it became a game. I put a blanket over my entire body and called out “Bitay! Bitay!” And when she pulled the blanket from my face, I would shout out “Beezshy!”. Laughter soon followed and all was right in the world again.
Several days after returning home, I got a call from my sister telling me about my newly formed identity. They were both flipping through family pictures in an attempt to associate names to faces and Layla kept yelling Bitay! Bitay! when they got to me.
My sister kept saying, “No, this is Aunt Da Da”, but Layla would yell back, “Bitay!” I told her about the game we played and how that must be how she’s remembering me.
From that day on I became her Bitay and she became my Beezshy. Seven years have now passed and I’m still her Bitay, but now she shares me with her two younger brothers, Jayden and Julian.
I’m a mom and an aunt, and it seems that kids find their own way to bond with you and tend to come up with their own names/nicknames. Cute story!
It’s so wonderful that you’ve got such a strong connection to your family! Very envious of that 🙂
I don’t have any stories like this but I do remember that when I was little I used to call my great-grandmother in a certain way, that I don’t know where it came from. My grandma used to say that it was because I couldn’t say “old grandma” but… who knows. 🙂 Children have minds of their own..
This is too sweet! I am an aunt through my husband. I’m an only child, but thankfully through him, I am an aunt, and that’s all I’ve ever been called. I’ll have to take this quiz.
Aww this is so cute <3 I was adopted and my birth brother has children, but I sadly don't really know him or them. I would have loved being a proper Aunt though I think.
This is such a cute story! I don’t have any cute names for my auntie.. but I wish I did now! Haha.
She is soo cute! I love the story of how your niece’s nickname for you came to be, sounds like you both have a very special bond.
This reminds me of my nephew who used to call me ‘Nana’ before one day his actual nana said no ‘Its Ana’ and then he called me Ana ever since. Layla is absolutely gorgeous and it is so sweet how she calls you bitay x
What a beautiful memory to share! I think it’s really sweet that you guys have developed a nickname for each other. She’s so adorable!
I’m an aunt, but I don’t have any cute nicknames. Just plain ol aunt. haha. I’ll have to do the quiz.
These nicknames are the best. It really establishes you to that child as something important! My sons call my dad “oyo” and its because they can’t say their L’s. But it’s become to special to everyone, especially my Dad.
This is so sweet! So lovely to read 🙂
I have 10 nieces and nephews and a couple of time have a different nickname for me! It’s so sweet 🙂
She is so sweet! I am not an aunt yet and my nickname is actually my name with the last N removed, but that’s only in my family 🙂
This post made me smile, how very sweet that you have a nickname to treasure attached to lovely memories. You sound like a great Aunt 🙂
What a lovely post! I am not an ‘official’ aunt but think of myself as auntie to lots of my friends’ children. Being called Louise, they often struggle to say this and it usually comes out as ‘weeze’. I find it rather endearing and can definitely think of worse nicknames!
lol that’s a great nickname!
This is such a sweet story and nickname. I’m not an uncle yet but can imagine how exciting and interesting it will be once I am.
Ohh this is such a sweet post. I am not yet a real aunt, well, since none of my siblings have kids but my cousins kids call me most of the time “Sa” because they cannot pronounce well my name completely.
This is so amazing, love the way you explained and shared this sweet story. It’s so wonderful that you’ve got such a loving bond with your family. I am an aunt but do not have any nicknames yet, expecting a niece/nephew this summer, so hopefully will have nicknames in future.
Congratulations!! And thank you! No doubt you’ll love your newly found name, whatever it may turn out to be.
I love being an aunt. It’s the best. It’s reverse where I have nicknames for them and they just call me auntie. I love it- isn’t it the best?
It certainly is 😊
What a cute story! And you bonded so well due to a name. Yes – my nieces and nephews call me Sissy. My kids call my sister Re. My sister couldn’t say my name when she was a baby and it came out “Sissy.” So, it stuck. I don’t remember how Re came about, but it’s a shortened version of her middle name, Marie – but she goes by Angela – so I’m still scratching my head on that one.